The Power of Words
by kikew1
Summary: Sometimes if you tell a person something you don't like about them in private, they're more likely to forget what you said than if you humiliate them in front of everyone they know.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:  **Do you really think that the Harry Potter world is mine?  Didn't think so.  I own nothing, just the plot and characters you don't recognize.

When he was eleven years old, he looked so innocent with his messy black hair and framed hazel eyes.  Now he's sixteen years old with messy black hair, framed hazel eyes, but not so innocent.  I'm not sure if James Potter was ever truly innocent, but I know he isn't now.

In our first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry I learned that looks could be deceiving, very deceiving.  James Potter was anything but innocent; he was a terror, him and his friends.  They ran muck all over the school.  James and Sirius Black had broken the detention record of any first year student ever; actually it was higher then any first and second year student put together.  James' other two best friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, weren't as bad.  Peter was fairly quiet compared to the others, and Remus seemed to be the most level headed.  I actually had befriended Remus rather quickly, but I didn't really spend time with him outside of classes because of James.  I liked James less and less as time went by and with him being friends with Remus, where ever Remus was, James was there as well.

Second year was when the "Marauders" as they called themselves started to go beyond playing funny practical jokes on students, but playing jokes on teachers they didn't like as well.  They were becoming unbearable really, yet still more popular then ever.  Nearly every day they would corner my girlfriends and me in the common room.  They didn't play jokes on us, but they would annoy us to no end, my friend Cassy Thompson in particular.  Sirius I suppose fancied her, he would always try to impress her someway or another.  It usually had something to do with quidditch; both James and Sirius were on the house team.  Cassy couldn't stand talking to them; she said she'd rather be tortured to death.  I didn't really like them either, but I was able to deal with them since they usually said very little to me.  I found it all rather funny though because of Cassy's situation.  That was of course until third year. 

By the time third year came about, Sirius had stopped irritating Cassy, but James had started harassing me.  Most girls in my situation would have been flattered because he was desired by so many girls, but I wasn't flattered at all.  Now don't get me wrong, James was very hansom, intelligent, and athletic, but his head was bigger then his heart.  He said that his little practical jokes were just that, jokes; I say they were just mean.  He also thought he was better then everyone else.  Granted he was better then many people in a number of things, it still didn't give him the right to treat people the way he did.  James would walk through the corridors hexing younger kids, even some older students, if they annoyed him or walked to slow.  And he always played with that stupid snitch that he nicked from the team no doubt.  But there were two things that I couldn't stand about him at all.  One, he always ruffled his hair to make it look like he just got off of his broom; and second, he didn't understand the word "no."  He asked me to every Hogsmeade trip and he asked me to go out with him at least twice a week.  Now it was Cassy's turn to laugh because I wanted to hit James so much each time he came within 15 feet of me.

I didn't think that _Potter _could get any worse then he was, but in fourth year, he proved me wrong.  He gloated more, he was meaner then he was, he disheveled his damn hair more then ever, and he asked me out incessantly.  Danielle Dittmer, one of my dorm mates and closest friends, told me that he was exactly the same, but it was me who was getting worse.  She said that I thought James was so horrible because I fancied him!  Well I choose to ignore the first couple of times she said that, but after a while, she really started to annoy me.  I couldn't believe that it happened, but we had gotten into a huge row about my "feelings" for James Potter right in the middle of the common room.  After that I choose to ignore Danielle altogether for some time, but it got harder to hide from Potter.  He was of course in the common room during the argument and took my heated words of hate as words of adoration towards him.  Because of this he felt inclined to tell me every time I saw him that I should admit that I loved him.

Fifth year, Potter had become Co-Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and his head swelled even more, but it did keep him busy enough to leave me alone.  Between his quidditch obligations and my prefect duties the only time I saw him was in classes and at meals.  Although towards the winter time when he didn't have practices he was always in the common room and since Remus made prefect, the rest of the Marauders would wait up for him to return.  Remus and I got to know each other pretty well, but I was afraid to tell him anything personal in fear of it going back to a certain friend of his; but I didn't feel too guilty about it because I knew he was hiding something from me as well (although I had a fleeting suspicion as to what it was).  Once Potter was back training, my life started going very smoothly again, except the constant studying for the O.W.L.s.  I have to admit that they were driving me madder then James Potter ever had, and that's saying a lot.  I was so happy when my last examine was over.  I remember my friends and I going down to the lake and putting our feet in just relaxing now that we could.  Too bad that prat had to go and ruin it.  Even though he only had gone after Severus Snape, someone I loathed even more then Potter himself, I had to say something.  No one deserves to be treated like that.  I remember telling Potter that I was surprised that his broom could still take off because of his fat head; it felt so good to say it to his face in front of all of his admiring fans.  That was my last encounter with him that year.  I avoided him at all costs until we arrived back at Kings Cross Station a couple days later.

Tomorrow I go back to Hogwarts.  I know I'll have to deal with Potter, but I've had a whole summer to think up things I can say to him if he confronts me about anything.  I really am looking forward to this year.

**Authors Note:  **So, what do you think?  I hope you like it, and if you don't, then please tell me why.  I know that this chapter is short, but it's just a start, you know, back round information and whatnot.  I promise that the next chapter will be longer.  


	2. The Train Ride Back

As soon as I went through the barrier at Platform 9 ¾ Cassy came running up to me screaming my name.  "Lily!  It's ten to 11:00!  Why are you so late?  You're usually the first one out of us here!"  Cassy started dragging me to the train, "DD and Victoria are already on the train, they're holding us a compartment."    

"OK!  You need to relax, can you please let go of my arm?  I'm more then capable to walk on my own.  What's gotten into you?"

Cassy let go of my arm and shrugged her shoulders sheepishly.  "I just want to get to our compartment, that's all.  No harm in that, is there?"

"Cassy, what do you know that I don't.  I've known you since first year; I know when you're lying."

"What is there to be lying about?"  Cassy turned her head to look at me while we walked, so I just looked back at her.  She knew what I was thinking.  "I'm not lying about anything!  I just want to get back to the compartment."

"I'm telling you now Cassy, if Potter is in that compartment, I will hex you."  Even though I wasn't looking at her anymore, I knew she was rolling her eyes.

"Lils, how come no matter what we're talking about, the conversation always turns up to be about James?"

"It doesn't always lead to Potter, but when it does, I'm usually correct in my assumptions, am I not?"

"Not always!"

I let out a deep breath and shook my head; I was always right when it came to Potter!  "Fine.  Where in bloody hell is our compartment?  We've walked almost the entire train."

Cassy started chewing her bottom lip slightly, "Well, we're in the second to last."

"You're joshing me correct?"  Cassy shook her head no.  "You mean the compartment before the last one is ours?"  Cassy shook her head yes.  "Why in Gods name would you do that to me?!?"

"It wasn't our faults, you usually get the compartment for us, but you weren't here!  It was the only one free!"

"Of course.  It would just be my luck that the one day I'm running late, the only compartment left is the one right next to…" I started to open the compartment door, "_Potter!"  First I shot daggers to Potter himself, then to Cassy, and then back to Potter.  _

He stared right back at me, but his eyes were warm rather then full of ice like mine.  He also had his classic lopsided grin while I had a scowl upon my face.  "It's nice to see you too Evans."  _That was a surprise, he never calls me Evans.  It's usually Lily-flower.  God I hate that name.  Why my mother had to be obsessed with flowers is beyond me._

I rolled my eyes, "Right.  Now what do you want?"

His smile turned mischievous and his eyebrows went up slightly, "Well…"

"Ugh.  Don't say anything, just get out."

His smile faded, but his eyes were still alight with mischief, but that never went away.  "No, I didn't, I didn't mean.  All I wanted was if I could ask if I could speak to you."

"Isn't that what you're doing now?"

James' square jaw was clenched, "I meant in private Lily."  _That was another surprise.  He actually sounded aggravated with me; he usually never looses his cool in front of me._

"So can I talk to you in private, please?"

I just looked at him, then to my friends, then to his.  My eyes rested on Remus for a moment, and then I looked back to Potter.  "Sorry, but no, I have a prefect meeting I have to attend at the head of the train.  Maybe later." I said icily.  I started to the compartment door, "I'll see you later girls.  Remus, are you coming, we were supposed to be there 3 minutes ago."  I left the compartment and I heard Remus leave behind me, but before he did he muttered "sorry mate,"

Remus caught up and started walking on the side of me.  "What does Potter want to talk to me about?"

"Would it kill you to call him James?"

"It might.  Now what does he want?"

"It's not my place to say and you know that Lily."  After that he walked a little faster and walked in front on me.  He always had to end the conversation.

I watched him as we walked.  He was the only 16 year old that I knew who seemed to age twice as fast as everyone else, in looks and personality.  When I first met Remus he was an average eleven year old, nothing seemed odd about him.  But now, he almost seemed to be a wise old man, almost like Dumbledore.  Remus even looked older then most of the boys in the school.  His sandy brown hair looked grey at times, and his once blue eyes were now a stormy grey color.  To top it all off, he always looked tired which made him look even older.  I think I know why he is the way he is though I'm not sure.

When we got to the Prefect compartment we entered and sat down with the other sixth year prefects.  The head boy and head girl hadn't shown up yet, so we didn't get reprimanded for being late.  Once they did show up the meeting began.  It was mostly for the fifth year prefects who needed to get instructions.  About an hour later all the prefects except the fifth years were allowed to go to their compartments if they wished to.  I was one of the first ones up and out of the compartment, Remus was right after me.

As I was walking back to my compartment I was nearly praying that Potter wouldn't be there waiting for me.  I was relieved when I opened the compartment door and saw he wasn't.  I did however notice Cassy.  I swore to her that I would hex her if Potter was in the compartment and I never swear unless I mean it.  I pulled out my wand from my pony tail (that's wear I keep it when I'm not wearing a robe) and pointed it right at her.  "I swore I would hex you!"

"Lils, come on, put your wand away.  You're not going to hex me; I'm your best friend!"

"Some best friend!  You lied to me!"

"I did not!  I never said James wasn't going to be here, and I really did want to get back to the compartment, I just didn't tell you why!" 

_I can't believe her!  She knew that He was going to be here and she just skirted around it!  I really should just blast her a good one!_  I was holding my wand so tight that my hand was shaking while I looked at her.  I really wanted to hex her, but I couldn't, she was right, she was after all my best friend.  After about a minute of staring at her I finally lowered my wand.

"Lils, I'm sorry, okay?  I should have told you that he wanted to talk to you, but if I did then you would have went straight to the prefect compartment.  I know you don't want to hear this, but I really think you should go talk to James.  He sounded like he really wanted to speak to you."

I looked to DD and Victoria; they were both shaking their heads agreeing with Cassy.  _Why do they always have to do that to me?  I started playing with my bracelet; I guess you could say that is a nervous habit of mine._

"I'll go find out what he wants, but if it's his usual pathetic plea to go out with me, I'm smacking him in the face and then leaving."  With that I walked out of the compartment and went to the one next to mine.  KNOCK KNOCK

Peter Pettigrew opened the door.  His blue eyes watering like always and his face pinched like a rats.  It was actually a bit eerie how much he resembled one, but he was a nice boy.  He was just very quite unless Potter or Black was around.  If either of them were around, he would do anything; it was almost as if they were his safe keepers because if anyone was to pick on him other then themselves, they would give that person a lesson or two on "respect" as they called it.  Peter squeaked, "Prongs!  It's Lily!" 

I rolled my eyes when I saw Potter jump up out of his seat and ruffle his hair, "Well, let her in!"  

Peter moved out of the way so I could go into the compartment, "What did you want to talk to me about Potter?"

He looked around the small room before he answered, "Umm, yea, I'd like to talk to you in private so, umm, boys, do you mind?"  He nodded his head towards the door.  Peter walked right out unfazed, Remus was close behind, but Sirius just sat there looking at me and Potter.

Remus stopped when he realized that Sirius hadn't moved.  "Padfoot!  Come on!"  Sirius didn't even flinch, "Sirius lets go!"  He still didn't leave, "Hey!  Black!"  That got Sirius' attention, he hated when anyone called him "Black."  That was his family name and he hated it, everyone knew that.  "Come on, let's leave them alone."

"But I want to know how it goes.  I'm sure Jamesy here won't mind.  Right Prongs?"

"Padfoot," Potter nodded towards the door again.  

This time Sirius stood up, his dark eyes looked like a sad puppies, "Fine, I'll go, but I can't believe my best mate's throwing me out like this."  After that he pushed past Remus and left.  Remus followed.

"Now what do you want, I haven't got the whole train ride."  

He obviously chose to ignore what I said because his response was just idiotic.  "What did you do to your hair?  It looks different."

"I didn't do anything to it.  Now why am I here?"

"Oh, well it looks very nice, it always does.  You have beautiful hair, you know?"

_Does he have to do this every time I see him!  _"Thanks Potter, now get on with what you wanted to talk about or I'm leaving."  _You should just smack him Lily!  _

"Okay, I'll get on with it then."  He took a deep breath, "So, how was your summer?"

I just looked at him; if this was what he wanted then I really would smack him, just for the hell of it.  "Could you please just get to the point?  Forget about the small talk!"

"Good, I didn't really want to talk about your summer anyhow; I wanted to talk about mine."

"Potter, I much rather be with my friends then having chit chat with you.  I'm leaving."  I started towards the door, but he stopped me.  He actually grabbed my hand and stopped me.  He never did that before; he usually was smart enough to just let me leave when I wanted to.  I looked at him in the face then to our hands, and then back to his face, "Let go of me."

"I will, but only if you'll sit and listen to what I have to say."

"Fine, now let go of my arm."  He let go and I went and sat back down.  He sat in the sit across from me.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you.  I didn't mean it if I did."  _He's such a gentlemen, it makes be sick._

"You didn't, but don't _ever_ do that again.  If you do, I'll hex you so fast you won't know what hit you."

He shook his head and laughed a little, "Understood.  And I'm sorry again, I shouldn't have done that.  If my mother saw me do something like that she would kill me, bring me back to life, and then kill me again.  Any way, I've done a lot of thinking over the summer.  Mostly about what you said at the end of last year."  This was where he lowered his head and didn't look me in the eyes, "I wanted to tell you that umm, well, I wanted you to know that umm…"  He put his hand to his face and ran it to his hair, "Damn this is hard.  Okay.  You were right.  I am a big headed toe rag as you so eloquently put it."

I was slightly shocked, "Potter's admitting he's not perfect!"

"Yeah, I'm admitting I'm not perfect.  But that's not all.  I wanted to apologize for the way I've been to you.  I must have given you hell really.  I don't how you were able to tolerate me as well as you have.  I don't know how anyone has."

I didn't know what to say.  I was speechless; I had no idea what to say.  So I didn't say anything, I just shook my head yes and stood up.  

He stood up as well, "Wait, Lily before you go, I have one more thing I'd like to ask of you.  I was wondering if you could possibly call me by my given name.  You know, James?  I kind of like it better then Potter.  Especially the way you say it.  You say it so venomously; I never knew a girl could be quite like you."

I gave a slightly cynical laugh, "I'll take that as a complement.  And I'll try to refer to you as James; it's just that Potter rolls off the tongue so much more easily."  With that I left the compartment and went to my own.

**A/N:**  I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed.  I love getting those things.  J  Now I'd love to get more for this chapter.  Tell me what you think of it.  Suggestions and criticism are welcome. 


	3. The Horror Hits Home

**A/N:  **Normally I don't have an author note at the beginning of a chapter, but I want to clear up a few things.  First I want to thank everyone one who has reviewed.  I really appreciate it and I'm glad that you enjoy reading it, I enjoy writing it.  Now to…

**Marauder3989-** thanks for your positive reviews, I really appreciate them.  Yes, DD is Danielle.  I realize I didn't make that all that clear, sorry about that.  Also, in the last two chapters, I haven't described any of the original characters really, but I promise, they will be described, most of them in this chapter.  The reason I haven't done so yet is because I needed a place where I could have Lily be able to describe them in her thoughts without it sounding out of place.  I mean I could've described as soon as their name appeared, but it wouldn't fit with the story.  I don't like when authors describe an original character in the middle of a paragraph that didn't have anything to do with that person.  I don't know how much sense that made, but I know what I mean.  I just rather have a description in a subtle manner then a describing paragraph. Do you understand what I mean?  I hope so.  Thanks again.

**Amandinka- **they are in sixth year and yes James is supposed to be a "prick" until they hook up, but the way I see it, he has to change a little for Lily to start being attracted to him so he can at least get a chance with her in seventh year.  Trust me, this won't be fluff, I'm sick off all that too.  I hope you give the story a chance and keep reading. 

----

The first week of classes went by very quickly which I was grateful for.  As much as I love being at Hogwarts, I hate having the summer end and school begin.  I miss sleeping in and staying up half the night writing in my big red journal whatever I please to write about.  I miss being able to go to my own room to be by myself.  Being by yourself was impossible here at school.  The only time I could be alone was in the middle of the night in the common room, but even then it felt like someone was there watching me although I never saw anyone there.  

Saturday morning I woke up earlier then I expected I would have.  I usually slept in late on the weekends, but today Cassy decided that she didn't want to go to breakfast alone so she woke me up to go with her.  Isn't she the most darling friend I could have, the early bird that she is.  I gave her a fight telling her that I needed my beauty sleep unlike her, she really was a classic natural beauty, but she wouldn't buy it.  She told me to shut it and get out of bed because I was gorgeous and that I didn't need beauty sleep either.  Now I wouldn't say I was gorgeous, but damn my mother and father for giving me my genes, I really wanted to stay in bed!  

"Okay, I'm up, happy now?"  I asked Cassy as she started brushing her long blonde hair.  I loved her hair. It was stick strait and always looked good.  She hardly ever had to do anything to it, not that she would anyway.  Cassy was the most down to earth person I've ever met although by her looks you would never guess it.  She was beautiful, golden blonde hair, crystal blue eyes; tall with a figure any girl would die for, a perfect smile and a great personality.  She was smart, fun loving, had a great sense of humor, and she was extremely easy going.  

She finished her hair and smiled, "Yes!  Now hurry up, I'm starved!"

I just rolled my eyes; she's always "starved."  I went to my trunk, got my clothes and headed for the bathroom to get ready.  Ten minutes later I emerged ready to go.  Cassy and I left the dorm and headed down to the portrait hole but we stopped at the bottom of the stairs.  

Victoria Andrews, one of our closest friends, was sitting on one of the couches by the fireplace crying.  She looked an awful mess, something that she never did.  Victoria always looked her best, even when she really just wanted to pull her hair out and scream.  She always held it together, emotionally and physically.  Her short dark hair always came perfectly to her chin and her dark eyes were never tainted by tears.  Right now she sat sobbing, a letter shaking in her hands, and her eyes red and puffy from crying.  I think this was the first time I ever saw Victoria even have a tear in her eye, much less seeing her as if she's having a nervous breakdown.

Cassy and I looked at each other for a moment and then we went over to Victoria.  I sat down on the coffee table in front of her and Cassy sat next to her on the couch.  Cassy put her arm around her, "Victoria, what's the matter?  What's wrong?"  Victoria didn't say anything; she just stared at the letter in her hands.  I could see that Cassy was trying to read what it said, but it looked like she couldn't see it properly.  Cassy attempted again to ask what was wrong, but Victoria still didn't say anything.  

I didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to do something.  I touched Victoria's hand and pressed it down to her lap so the letter would rest on her lap as well.  This got her attention.  Victoria snapped her head up to look first at me and then to Cassy.  Cassy asked gently, "Sweetie, what's the matter?  What happened?"

Victoria swallowed hard before she cried, "He's dead!"  Then she fell into Cassy and started sobbing into her shoulder.  Cassy wrapped her arms around her and started rubbing her back softly.  I had no idea who Victoria was talking about and when Cassy looked at me I got the feeling that she didn't know either.  I noticed that the letter had fallen to the floor.  I was going to pick it up to see what it said, but as I was reaching for it I didn't know if I should read it at all.  It was Victoria's letter, and she usually was a very private person.  I didn't know if I should read it and find out what happened or if I should wait until she calmed down a bit so she could tell us herself.  But then Victoria started sobbing harder, it would be a while until she calmed down, so I started to read the letter.

_Victoria__,_

_                        Darling, we hate to have to send a letter to you like this, but there's no _

_other options right now and we didn't want you to have to read about it in the papers.  Dear, Patrick was on call last night.  There was another attack and he went to help the back up squad.  Victoria darling, he was hit.  They took him to St. Mungos, but there was no hope.  Sweetie, he didn't make it.  I'm sorry that we had to tell you like this, but there was no other way unless you read it in the papers in the morning.  We're making arrangements for you, Danielle and Janette to come home as soon as possible for the funeral.  We're sorry again for delivering this news to you like this._

_                                                                        With all our love,_

_                                                                        Mummy & Daddy_

I felt tears welling in my eyes.  Victoria's older brother Patrick was killed.  I knew he was part of the Wizard Emergency Patrol Squad and with everything going on lately he was risking his life, but I never thought anything would ever really happen to him.  I mean, nothing ever happens to the people you know, it's always everyone else.  And not only that, he was so young.  He was three years my senior, he only graduated two years ago.  I remember seeing him in school, talking to Victoria about the right and wrong kinds of boys to go out with.  He was Head Boy, keeper on the quidditch team, and an all around great guy.  How could someone like that meet this kind of fate while trying to help the better half of the wizarding world?  That's just not fair, to him or to his family and friends.  

Needless to say, Cassy and I didn't make it to breakfast, or lunch for that matter.  We stayed with Victoria, DD, and DD's little sister Janette.  The three of them were a huge mess.  They didn't know what to do with themselves.  Professor McGonagall came to speak to them, but she didn't help them at all.  There wasn't anything she could do; they just wanted to be with their family.  Victoria wanted to mourn he brother and Danielle and Janette wanted to mourn their cousin.  They needed to mourn with their family.  Which Professor McGonagall promised they would be able to do soon.  She told them that they would be flooing home an hour before diner started.  

Cassy and I were talking on our way back up to the common room after dinner about what happened.  Dumbledore had given a whole speech about it before diner.  Things were getting out of hand.  

"I thought they held up pretty well.  A lot better then I would've.  I'll admit that Petunia and I don't see eye to eye on anything, and we don't really get along, and we don't-"

"Lily, I get the picture.  You're sister's a prat, but…"

"But, I'd be heartbroken if something happened to her.  I can only imagine how Victoria feels.  I mean if me and Petunia can't stand each other, and I would feel horrible.  Victoria and Patrick were so close, she has to feel it a hundred times more then I would."

"I know, but I can't get over the fact that this was the biggest attack yet.  You heard Professor Dumbledore at diner, 37 casualties!  It's only going to get worse, especially for you muggleborns."

I shook my head in agreement as we got to the portrait of the Fat Lady, "I know.  Lions heart."  _Why does the only thing that the Muggle and Wizarding worlds have in common have to be discrimination?  Both worlds could be nearly perfect if it wasn't for bigotry.  Why does it matter what color you are, or if you're a pureblood or not?  This whole pureblood, and halfblood, and mudblood thing is absurd.  I hate it!  _

When we went into the common room Cassy said she'll talk to me later and went over to her boyfriend of three years, Andrew Mullens.  I like Andrew, he really is a sweetheart.  Cassy and he deserve each other, their perfect together.  I remember when they first started dating.  Cassy and I were in third year, Andrew in his fourth.  Whenever we came into the common room Andrew would start telling a joke, usually a horrible one at that, but all of his friends would laugh.  After that he made sure to get eye contact with Cassy and they would just look at each other.  Finally, Andrew asked her to one of the Hogsmeade trips and they've been together ever since.

I sat by the fire, in the same seat Cassy and I found Victoria in this morning.  The warmth hitting my face felt so nice, comforting.  I just sat there, watching the embers dance.  I guess I had been sitting here a while because when I looked around the room, only a few students were left.  I decided to go up to my room and get my journal.  That's what I usually do at night when I can't sleep, I write in my journal.  It's not like a diary though, it's more then that.  I write about what anything and everything.  I might write about the day, maybe a poem or a story, sometimes even a drawing.  Pretty much, whatever I'm thinking I put on paper, in some kind of form, in this big red book.  It's my life's book.

Anyway, once I got to my empty dorm I changed into my night clothes, grabbed my robe and my book, and I headed back down to the fire.  I loved to sit by that fire.  By the time I got back downstairs, the common room was empty; it was actually a little eerie, but nice all the same.  The common room is never empty until at least 11:00 on a weekend.  So I sat by the fire, drawing a picture of how I found Victoria that morning.  I was nearly finished with her face when I thought I heard someone bump into something.  I looked around but no one was there.  I went back to my drawing but it felt like someone was watching me.  I looked behind me and behind the couch, no one was there.  "I'm loosing it.  I really am."  

"You are."  I jumped nearly three feet off the couch.  James Potter was sitting to the right of me.

"It was _you_!  You and that bloody damned cloak!  You nearly caused me heart failure!"

He smiled at me, "Sorry Lily love, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"Like hell you didn't Potter!  And don't call me that!"

"Whatever do you mean Lily love?  I merely called you by your name."

"That!  Lily love!  Don't do that!"

"Well don't call me Potter, my given name is James, remember?"  

I rolled my eyes, "You really expected me to start calling you James?  You're denser then I thought."

He put his hand to his heart, "That hurts me, it really does my flower."

"Holy Hell!  Will you shut it already!  I thought you were going to stop all this nonsense!"

"It's not nonsense, but for arguments sake, lets say it is.  Why would you think I would stop it?"

"Are you serious?"

"No, I'm James."

"Jesus, don't you think that's gotten a bit old?"

"That'll never get old.  Now back to the question."

_He is unreal.  Why the hell did I believe him?   Why did I think he would try to change?  This is low even for him._

He waved his hand in front of my face, "Lily?"

I closed my book and stood up, "I'm going to bed."

"Wait, you didn't answer my question."

I turned around to face him, "When you apologized to me on the train about how you've acted and told me that I was right, I don't know, I just thought that maybe you'd try to change."

James' face twisted into his classic grin, "Just because I apologized doesn't mean I'd want to change.  Why would you think that?  Would you be interested in me if I was to change?"

I stood there looking at him in disgust.  This is probably the least I've ever like him.  I liked him even less though when he had the nerve to stand up and come towards me. 

He raised my chin with his finger and looked straight into my eyes.  With a smile on his face he asked, "Why do you look so upset?"

I backed away from him slightly, "Because you make me ill."

James shook his head no, "I don't think that's it."

"Oh really?  Then what do you think?"

"I think you fancy me the way I am.  You were only hoping that I would change my ways so you wouldn't have to go against all the things you've said about me all these years."

"I think you're head has gotten bigger over the summer holiday."  With that I turned back around and went up the staircase to the girls dormitories.

**A/N:**  well that's it for this chapter.  I hope you enjoyed it, be sure to review and tell me what you think.


	4. Laughter and Red Faces

Wednesday night Victoria and Danielle came back to school.  They were doing a lot better since they first found out about Patrick.  Being with their family did them well.  I wanted to tell them about what Potter said to me in the common room Saturday night, but they wanted to go to bed.  The last couple of days had been really long for them and they just wanted a peaceful night's sleep.  I agreed that that was fair, so I told them I'd tell them everything after Transfiguration the next day.  Since its Thursday we'd have a free period after Transfiguration, followed by lunch.

"Lils, wake up!  You'll miss breakfast if you don't get up soon!"  I rolled over in my bed and stuck my head under the pillow.  Then all of a sudden I felt a very cold breeze.  I sat right up.  Cassy was standing over me with my covers in her hand and an annoyed look on her face, "If you don't get ready soon, you won't get down to the Great Hall in enough time to eat breakfast.  Then I'll have to listen to you all morning until lunch saying that you can't concentrate because you're too damn hungry!"

"Good grief!  I'm up!  Must you always have to do that!?" I yawned and got out of bed.

"I wouldn't have to if you would get up!  Even DD gets up!"

I huffed as I searched my trunk for clothes, "Well isn't that just dandy for DD."  I kept digging into my trunk for my tie, it wasn't anywhere.  I screamed in frustration, "MERLIN!  DO YOU KNOW WHERE MY TIE IS?"  I heard Cassy give a little laugh and I turned around to face her, "What's so funny!?"

She just looked at me for a moment before she spoke, "You!"

"It's not funny!  I can't find my bloody tie!"

"Lily," Cassy started seriously, "you are one of the most organized people I've ever known," now a smile turned her lips and she started laughing, "yet you lose that blasted tie of yours nearly every morning!"  

I stood there scowling at her for a minute, even though she was right.  I did lose my tie almost every day.  

"Oh, enough with the face, go get ready, I'll look for your tie."

A foolish smile crept to my face, "Thanks Cass, I really don't know what I'd do without you sometimes."  She just gave me her classic "I know" face and then started rummaging through my trunk.  I went into the bathroom and started the shower.  That's one thing great about Hogwarts.  No matter how many people used the shower before you, there's always hot water.  

Once I was finished getting ready, I went down to the common room to meet the girls.  They always waited for me in the morning.  I don't know how they're able to get up right away and be ready long before I am.  I mean, once I wake up, it only takes me about twenty minutes to be ready to go.  It takes all of them at least an hour to get ready, save Cassy.  It doesn't take her too long to get ready, but still, the three of them always have to wait for me, and it takes me the least time to get ready!

"It's about time you decided to grace us with your presence Lils."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you say that every day DD.  When are you gonna come up with something else?"

Danielle looked at me with mock shock, her brown eyes wide and her hand on her chest, "Can this be true?  Ms. Perfect Lily Evans being sarcastic?  To one of her best mates no less!?"  She dropped the shocked routine, "Honestly Lils, you're usually only sarcastic to James.  Now tell me, do I look anything like Potter?"   

I punched her in her arm playfully as we started to leave, "Oh shut it will you!"

***

Transfiguration was dragging on as usual.  It was my least favorite class.  It was so boring, and what made it worse was that I wasn't the best in it.  This class gave me the most problems, and I only had the seventh highest mark in the class!  Potter and Sirius Black were first and second.  

As the class took the notes from the bored, Professor McGonagall sat at her desk grading our essay on animagus'.  It had to be at least three feet long and had to include all the steps one would have to do to become one.  It took me over three hours to write it, and Potter stood over my shoulder almost the entire time.  He corrected me on almost everything I put down and criticized my writing.  I swear, for someone who says he likes me as much as he does, you'd think he would be nicer to me and listen when I tell him to go away.

Finally the bell rang.  I put my books in my bag and I was just to the door when McGonagall called me.  "Ms. Evans, would you come here please."

I told Danielle, Cassy, and Victoria that I'd meet them in the common room afterwards.  I headed towards the professors desk but Potter got in my way.  We both moved to one side, then to the other, and back.  He smiled and moved to his left, waving his hands and bowing slightly to guide me past him and his friends.  I rolled my eyes as I went by, I saw Remus do the same.  Sirius and Peter however were smiling widely.

I stood in front of the desk, "What is it Professor?"

She looked up at me, "It's about your essay."  _Oh great!  I failed!  Thanks Potter!  _"I wanted to congratulate you on it."  _What?_  "You got top marks on it.  It's quite the improvement since last year.  If you keep this up, along with your other classes, you could very well make head girl next year.  Okay, well, get going.  I have a class coming in."

I smiled, "Alright, thank you Professor."  With that I went out of the classroom as a first year class started filing in.  

"Oy!  Lily love!"  I was half way down the corridor and stopped dead in my tracks.  "I didn't even see you come out!"

Without turning around I started to walk again, "Don't you have a class or something Potter?"

He already caught up to me, damn him being so tall.  "Yeah I do, but I wanted to wait for you."

"Aren't I just so lucky?" I said sarcastically.

"I'd say so.  So what did McGonagall want?"

"I don't believe that is any of your business." I said flatly.  _When will he give up!_

He shrugged his shoulders, "I figured you wouldn't tell me, that's why I listened.  So, you could thank me now or later if you'd like for helping you with your essay."

I was in the right mind to take out my wand and hex him just then, but for some reason I didn't, so I opted to look at him incredulously as we continued to walk up the stairs to the common room.  I was too preoccupied looking at him to realize where we were, and I stepped right onto the step that you can get stuck in.  My foot was stuck; I couldn't get it out on my own.  I felt my face heat up when Potter started laughing.  I glared at him and his fit of laughter turned into a string of fake coughs.  

When he finally was able to control himself, he put out his hand to me.  "Sorry, would you like help?"

I looked loathingly at him, but I had no other choice, so I nodded my head yes.  He bent down and took my calf into his hands.  I felt my face get even hotter then what it was already when he looked up at me.  I was pretty sure that he was looking at my face, but I wasn't sure.  He had a grin on his face like no one would believe, so I'm not sure if he was in truth looking up my skirt.  I could only hope he wasn't.  Finally, he gave one swift pull and my foot was released from the step and he stood back up, smiling.  "I should probably be off.  I'm late to class."  Almost as an after thought, he added with a wink, "I'll expect my thank you later."  With that he walked back down the stairs and headed outside to the grounds.

***

When I got to the common room Danielle, Victoria, and Cassy were waiting for me.  They were sitting on the couch by the fire.  Danielle must have been the first one to notice that I came in because she was the first to say something, which was usual.  She noticed everything, and she was always the first to speak.  She couldn't help herself.  "What took so long?  Did McGonagall yell at you for daydreaming?  I saw you weren't taking much notes.  Did you know that wench gave me a detention the first week of school last year because she thought I was "daydreaming" just because I wasn't taking notes!"

"Yes I did know, but DD, you were daydreaming-"

"That wasn't my point!  Anyway, what did she want?"

"She just told me I got top marks on my paper."

Victoria looked at me suspiciously, "And it took that long?"

I felt my face get red a little, "No.  Not really."

DD and Victoria exchanged looks and raised their eyebrows.  Cassy had a smirk on her face too, "What took so long then?"

I sighed in aggravation.  They knew something happened.  "Potter.  What else?"  The three of them bursted out in laughter, my face got even redder.  "Guys!  Come on!  Why are you laughing!?"

Cassy shook her head, "Nothing.  Don't worry about Lils."

"No!  I want to know.  It obviously has something to do with me!"

DD stopped laughing, but she continued to smile.  "It's nothing really Lils.  It's just funny to watch you squirm."

It was my turn to raise my eyebrow, "Squirm?  What are you talking about?"

"Oh you know.  Whenever James' name is mentioned or when something has to do with him, you turn red and get all huffy-"

"I do no-"

"Especially when you don't want to embarrass yourself.  Like when you get your foot stuck in a step and need the Prince in Shining Armor to rescue you."

My jaw dropped and my eyes went as wide as saucers.

"Sirius came up to tell us that you'd be delayed.  Shortly after he left, he came back and told us that it would be even longer then expected because you were stuck."

My eyes went back to normal and I closed my mouth.  I opened and closed it a few times, but didn't say anything.  There was nothing to say, I couldn't get myself out of it.

Victoria broke the silence, "Okay, well, enough about this, I want to know what happened the other night!"

I sat down in one of the chairs by the fire and told them what happened.  When I finished Danielle sat there and looked at me, shaking her head.  "What?" I asked incredulous.

"I agree with James.  I think you fancy him.  You just don't want to go down on your words and give into him."

I looked at her in disbelief.  "I do not like James Potter!  He's nothing more then a pompous, arrogant, self-absorbed prat!"

"You do realize that pompous, arrogant, and self-absorbed all have the same meaning, don't you?"

**A/N…** I was going to make this chapter longer, but for some reason it feels like it's drawing on forever.  So I'm going to put the rest in the next chapter.  It should be up by the end of the weekend, if not, by Monday.  Sorry that this chapter took as long as it did to get up, but this week as been crazy for me.  I've had no time to do anything.  Well, as always, please review and tell me what you think!


	5. A Dream or a Nightmare

**Authors Note:  **I am soooooooo sorry it took so long for me to post this.  In my area we've had so many storms.  Whether it be snow, rain, or wind storms, my power kept being knocked out.  I haven't been able to get onto the internet so I haven't been able to put this up.  I have however, made this chapter longer then what it was and I started on the next.  Hopefully I'll be able to post that in a day or two.  Happy Reading!

I wouldn't talk to Danielle for the rest of the week.  I had planned on giving her the silent treatment for a couple of more days, but unfortunately Cassy and Victoria devised a plan so that the two of us would have to speak.  When we went into Potions this morning, the two of them sat together.  This forced Danielle and I to sit together, otherwise we would have to work with one of the Slytherins or one of the Marauders.  Both of those options were dismal, at least for me.  Danielle wouldn't have minded working with any of the Marauders, but thankfully she sat by me.  If she hadn't, Potter would've been sitting here annoying me to no end.

When Professor Greenwich came into the class room, she looked to be in a horrible mood.   Her normally bright eyes looked cold as steel.  Her hair was in a high tight pony tail that made her eyebrows raise up in a most intimidating way.  She walked briskly to the front of the class and stood in front of her desk.  With her fingertips pressed together she started, "We're beginning a new potion today.  I'll be assigning your partners, and I don't want to hear anything of it.  As I call you're names, go to the table I assign to you."  She walked over the first table in the head of the class, "Snape and Lestrange."  She moved to the next table, "Pettigrew and Thompson."  She went down to the next row; two Slytherins were paired together and Danielle and Victoria were paired.  _Great!  I hope I get Remus.  I can't deal with Potter, or Black!  Professor Greenwich moved on, "Lupin and…" __please say me, please say Evans, "Black.  Taylor and Marcus.  In the back row, Abbot and Edwards, Evans and Potter."  ___

I put all of my books into my cauldron and moved to my new seat next to Potter grudgingly.  Potter however had a smile as big as the Cheshire Cat as he strutted over.

"Hullo Partner!  I was hoping I'd get you Flower!"

I clenched my jaw, "Call me _Flower again, and I'll-"_

"You'll what?  Hex me?"  He looked at me with such intensity, I was getting uncomfortable.  "You've been telling me for years that you'd hex me.  Yet you haven't, not even once."

"There's a first for everything Potter."

"Agreed, that there is.  But see Evans, I know you're a brilliant witch, and as many curses as you may know, I know them as well.  Most people would fear being at the receiving end of your wand, but I know every counter spell there is, and then some."  He smiled, "I also know, that you'll never hex me.  You'd be stooping to my level if you did, wouldn't you?"

I glared daggers at him, "I didn't say I'd hex you, I know far too many other things I could do to you.  But either way, it doesn't matter.  Just don't call me Flower, or Love, or any other pet name you might come up with.  My name is Lily or Evans, that's it."

He kept staring at me, but didn't say anything.  Finally he looked away and turned towards the board.  My eyes followed.  The instructions for what we had to do were written up there.  I took out a piece of parchment and started writing them down while James just watched me.  "You have very nice handwriting."

I turned my head to face him, "Don't you think you should be writing the instructions as well?  After all, I'm not doing all the work."

"I wouldn't dream, ha, catch the irony?  We're doing a dream potion, and I said I wouldn't dream?"  I just blinked.  "Right, well, as I was saying, I wouldn't dream of having you work by yourself.  But as far as the instructions go, I think you're doing very well on them.  We are two of the top students, I'm sure we don't need two sets of the same thing."

I sighed, "Fine!  Then you can start chopping up the roots!"

"Anything you say me dear."

***

All of our ingredients were ready, now all we had to do was put them in the cauldron, but that would take sometime.  We had to complete the potion over the next two weeks.  In the mean time, we were supposed to research all about the Dark Dream Draft Potion, also known as the Triple D, and write a 3 foot report about it.  I really didn't mind having to write the report, but then I noticed that the instructions clearly stated that the report was to be worked on in partners.  In other words, I have to work with Potter on the report and on the potion!  That's a whole two weeks with him!  

Once the bell rang, I got all of my things together and went outside.  I waited for Cassy, Danielle, Victoria at the door.  They were some of the last to come out, the Marauders followed them out.  

Potter draped his arm around my shoulders, "So Evans, when shall we get together?"

I shrugged his arm off of me, "Pardon?"

"When shall we get together?  You know, to work on our project?  Or anything else you might have in mind."

"You truly do disgust me."

"If that's what you want to call it.   Anyway, back to our report, we could start tonight."

"I have a prefect meeting to attend tonight." 

"Oh right, I forgot.  Well let's see then, I have practices on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and you have to patrol on Wednesdays.  Hmm, that only leaves Friday."

"I'm not spending my Friday night with you!"

Potter had a slightly crestfallen look on his face, "You could be stuck with worse you know."

I couldn't help to roll my eyes, "Yeah?  Like who?"

"Snivellus!"

"I wouldn't be stuck with Snape.  Greenwich doesn't integrate houses."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter anyway.  You're stuck with me either way.  So, it's Friday or the weekend.  Which ever one you prefer is fine with me."

He was right.  I was stuck with him.  I had to work with him.  "Fine.  Friday night, in the library, at 7:00 sharp.  If you're not there, I'll leave.  I won't stick around waiting."  With that I quickened my pace, as did Cassy, Victoria, and Danielle.

***__

 Friday afternoon I tried to convince Danielle and Victoria to come to the library with me later on that evening.  Cassy already had plans with Andrew.  Victoria said no right away as I knew she would.  She hated the library.  Danielle, however, jumped at the chance.

"I'd love to come!"  Her eyes became wide and started dancing with mischief. 

I narrowed my eyes, "But you like the library even less then Victoria."

A small crept to her face and she shrugged her shoulders.  "I know, but it'll be good for me!  I could after all use the study time.  Have to keep my grades up so I could stay on the team right?"  She was of course referring to the Gryffindor Quidditch team; she's a chaser, and a bloody good one at that.   

"I suppose.  We'll go up to the library after diner.  Sound good to you?"

Danielle shook her head yes.  "Yeah, and as I'm studying, I'll keep an eye out for you and James."

My eyes grew wide, "What?  Why?  What are you talking about?"

"I'll keep an eye out for you two.  You know, just incase you guys decide to go to the back somewhere and have a snog."

"Merlin!  DD, you're just as bad as he is sometimes!  How many times do I have to tell you that I don't like him?"

"Oh come off it Lils!  I mean, can you honestly say that you're not attracted to him in the least bit?  You've never thought about snogging him?"

"YES!  I've never thought about snogging him and I'm not attracted to him in the least bit!"

"You're lying!  You're nostrils are flaring, whenever you lie, they flare!"

"I am NOT!  I don't like him!"

Cassy interjected, "Lils, not disagree with you or anything, but if you don't like him, then why do you always get so worked up about him?"

I gritted my teeth, "I'm not sure!  But I know it's not because I fancy him!  I don't!"

Cassy nodded her head, "Okay, so-"

"If you don't fancy him," Danielle interrupted, "then who do you like?  There has to be someone, you're sixteen for Merlin's sake!  I mean, all girls our age fancy someone, its human nature.  It's like a law or something!  A divine right if you will!"

Victoria raised her eyebrow, "Okay, DD, calm down a little, you're starting to scare me."

Danielle rolled her eyes, "Oh shut it Victoria!  But seriously guys, how many boys have you heard Lils talk about, and not just talk about, but has actually shown _any kind of interest in?  I can only think of one, James."  I opened my mouth, but Danielle started to speak again, "Don't say anything Lils.  I didn't say you fancied him; I only said that you've shown an interest in him.  It might not be a good one, but it's an interest all the same.  Lils, I know you've been on dates to Hogsmeade and everything, but you've never really dated anyone.  You're sixteen years old, and you've never had an actual boyfriend!"_

"All I was going to say before was who I fancy!  You didn't have to go through that whole speech of yours!"

Danielle smiled awkwardly, "Oh, sorry then.  Who do you fancy if not James?"

"Jason." I said simply.

All three of their faces looked taken aback.  Victoria spoke first, "Jason?  Jason Garret?  The one in Ravenclaw, our year?"

I shook my head, "No, Jason Peterman."

Danielle's jaw dropped, "Jason Peterman!  The head boy!?"

"Yeah, the head boy.  Why, what's wrong with him?"

"He's the head boy, that's what's wrong with him!  He would never break the rules and go sneaking around to snog or anything with you!"

I rolled my eyes, "Just because he's head boy doesn't mean he won't break rules!  The heads have some privileges, and they have leeway with certain things.  They have a later curfew and they know nearly all the passwords in the castle.  There's bound to be a room where he would go for some alone time."

"Maybe, but I don't think he'd break the rules.  And besides, you wouldn't either!"

"Yes I would.  I wouldn't mind sneaking around every now and then if I had someone that I really wanted to sneak around with."

The three of them looked surprised.  I was even surprised; I can't believe I said that.

***

That night the four of us went down to diner as usual.  I noticed however that Potter hadn't shown up yet.  I was curious as to where he was, but I didn't want to ask any of his cronies.  Instead I kept glancing over at them to see when he arrived.  Fortunately, he didn't show up at all.  I hoped that I could be so lucky tonight at the library, hopefully he wouldn't show.

When 6:30 came, Danielle and I left the Great Hall.  We went up to Gryffindor Tower to get our things and then headed to the library.  We got there ten minutes before 7:00.  Danielle and I sat opposite a table that had books scattered all over it.  I stared at the door, waiting to see if Potter would turn up on time.  I kept checking my watch to see what time it was.  One minute after seven, I would leave if he wasn't here.  

"Oh, you're early!"  I heard from behind me.

I knew who it was, but I turned around anyway.  "You're already here!"

Potter walked over to the table with all the books on it, "I've been here since diner."  I raised my eyebrows and he spoke again.  "I didn't want to be late, so I came early.  I started getting information too."  He gestured to all the books as he spoke.

I was lost for words, so I just stood up and walked over to the table where he was.  I sat down and grabbed a book.  I saw Potter do the same out of the corner of my eye.  We sat there reading and making notes for the next hour in silence.  It was actually a bit scary to see James Potter quite for that long, but very serene mind you.  The silence was broken when Madam Pince came over to the table.

"I have to go do something; I'll be about a half hour.  Can I trust you, Ms. Evans, to keep Mr. Potter in line?"

Lily gave a small smile, "Yes, of course.  But we won't be much longer."

"Okay, then please make sure these books get cleaned up before you go."

"Yes ma'am."

Madam Pince turned to leave, but stopped just before the door.  "And Mr. Potter, if anything shall happen here, you will _not_ like your detention."  With that, she left.

Potter gave a short laugh, "So you think you can keep me in line, eh Evans?"

"Yes, I believe so." I said flatly looking into his eyes.

His mouth curved into a smile and eyes were alight with mischief, "We'll just have to see about that."

"Oh come off it Potter, you've been good all night.  You don't want to ruin it, do you?"

"I might."

"You wouldn't like what I'd do to you.  Isn't that right, Dani-" I turned to look at Danielle, but she wasn't there, "elle?"   I turned back towards Potter, "Where is she?  Where'd she go?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe she left."

"She wouldn't leave without telling me."  With that I stood up and started to look for her around the shelves.  Potter stood up and walked the opposite direction of me.

A minute later, I felt a tap on my shoulder.  I jumped and turned around.  It was Potter, of course.  "Don't do that!  You're going to give me a heart attack one of these days!"

"Oh, sorry, I just thought you might like to know that I found Danielle."  When he mentioned her name, a grin appeared on his face.  He turned around and started to walk towards the back of the library.  I followed, curious as to what Danielle was doing that made Potter smirk the way he did.

When we turned the corner, I saw Danielle and some Ravenclaw boy snogging, quite heavily I might add, on one the chairs in the corner.  My mouth dropped, "I could use the studying my arse!"

Danielle pulled away from the boy. She stood up and faced me, shocked, "Lils!  You're, umm, you're done gathering you're, umm, you're information already?!"

"I can't believe you!  You said you wanted to study!  Here I find you snogging!  In the library no less!  You could at least go up to the astronomy tower or something!"

"Yeah, that would have been better, but-"

"It doesn't matter.  Just, both of you leave before Madam Pince gets back.  I don't want to have to explain anything."

"Okay, I'll meet you back in the common room then?"  I nodded my head and Danielle and the Ravenclaw boy left the library.  

Potter and I went back to the table.  I started straightening out the books and my papers.  However, Potter continued to write on his notes page.  "We really should get going, don't you think?  Madam Pince will be back soon, and we told her that we'd be leaving soon."

"I just want to finish this quickly.  I'll be done in a minute.  You can go on without me."

"Alright then, just when you get back to the common room, give me your notes and we'll keep everything together."

He looked up at me and gave an apprehensive smile, "I didn't take any notes."

"What do you mean you didn't take any notes?  We were sitting here for an hour, I saw you!"

"I wasn't taking notes.  I read stuff, but I didn't take anything down."

I pointed to what he was writing on, "Then what is that?"

He looked down and took it off the table quickly, too quickly if you ask me.  "Oh, it's, it's nothing."

I felt the corners of my mouth turn upwards, "It has to be something!  Come on, let me see it!"

He looked at me curiously, "Why do you want to know?"

"Because you've been writing at it for an hour, it's bound to be something good!"

"Curiosity killed that cat Evans!"  He said smiling.

I walked to the other side of the table and faced him, "Too bad I'm not a cat.  I'm a flower," I grabbed the parchment out of his hands and turned around, "remember?"  I saw the first few words, but then he grabbed it back out of my hands. 

I looked at him incredulously, but he just smiled.  "Have you forgotten that I'm a seeker?"  He wiggled his fingers, "I have very fast hands."  

"Oh now I'm even more curious.  Just let me see it."  I tried to grab it out of his hands, but he held it above his head where I couldn't reach and shook his head no.  So I pouted.  "Please?"  _Oh dear lord!  Am I flirting with him?  No, no, of course not._

He smiled slightly, "Only if you give me a kiss."

I stepped back and looked at him as though I was thinking about it.  I wasn't going to kiss him, but I was going to make him think I was going to.  After a few moments, I walked closer to him and smiled.  I kissed my fingertips pressed them gently on his lips and then withdrew my hand.  "That's the only kiss you'll get from me."

Potter continued to smile and look into my eyes.  I think that's the only intense thing he's capable of.  When he looks into your eyes, you can't look away.  It's as if you're frozen and can't move any part of your body, especially your eyes.  Then very softly, he spoke, "Can I ask you something?"  I wanted to look away and roll my eyes, but I couldn't, I was transfixed on his eyes.  I guess he noticed that I wanted to say, and he knew what it was.  Before I was able to speak, he started again.  "Don't worry; I'm not going to ask you out, nothing of the sorts actually."

I found my voice, but still unable to break our eye contact, "What is it then?"

"You know how beautiful you are right?"  I made a face, but said nothing.  "Do you know how many of the guys in this castle dream of you at night?"  I was taken aback by that and I felt my face flush furiously.  "Well, I was wondering, if the girls dream about me as much as the boys dream about you."

_Is he fucking serious!  How can one person be so damn conceited?!  "How many girls dream about me?" My God!_

I forced a smile, one I hoped looked real, and kept looking at him.  I stepped a little closer to him and grabbed his tie gently in my hands to pull him closer.  His eyes grew wide for a moment.  We were really close now.  If I had been a couple of inches taller, our noses would almost be touching.  I looked up to his face, and he looked down at mine, while I talked, "A lot of girls dream about you.  I mean, why wouldn't they?  You're a dream in yourself to some of them.  You're good looking, you're smart, and you can even be nice sometimes."  We kept staring into each others eyes.  I could tell that he wasn't sure what to do, I think it's the only time I saw him unsure of himself.  Just as the thought left my head, he started to lean in closer to me.  He was going to kiss me.  Just as his lips were near mine, I turned my head and he stopped.  He pulled back and looked at me.  The look he had on his face was priceless.  He wasn't sure to be shocked or really pissed off, it was brilliant.  "You didn't let me finish what I was saying.  Although you're a dream to some, you're a nightmare to the rest!  Do me favor James, get over yourself will you?"  With that I pressed his tie into his chest and grabbed my things from the table.  I left him standing in the middle of the library in bewilderment.  

**A/N:**  so what do you think?  I hope you all like it.  Once again, I'm soooooo sorry it took so long.  As always... please review…..good or bad.


	6. Pictures Never Lie

**Authors Note:  **I'm sorry this has taken forever and a day to get posted, but I wrote it, didn't like it, so I wrote it all over again and got a bit of writers block.  Damn it all...anyway, it's finally here.  Hope you like it.

Potter left me alone all weekend long.  I didn't talk to him and I hardly saw him.  It was nice, really nice.  The girls however thought it was a bit odd.  At the moment, that was what Victoria and I were talking about.

"Lils, what did you do to him?"  Victoria said as Potter and his crew walked past us, not saying a word, though Sirius Black did stare me down.  His dark eyes narrowed on me as he past.

"I didn't do anything to him.  Maybe he's just finally realized that I don't like him."

Victoria's eyes followed the Marauders as they sat in their usual corner of the Common Room.  "I highly doubt that."  She looked at me and then back to the boys.  Without saying a word, she got up from the table where we were sitting and started walking towards Potter.

I jumped up, "Where are you going!?"

Victoria turned her head, "To go find out what happened."  With that she headed towards the corner where the Marauders were.  I decided it was time for me to leave.  I don't need to hear a speech from Victoria when she gets back, and if I leave now, by the time I'll see her later, she'll forget all about it.  I grabbed my things and went out the portrait hole.  

I started towards the library.  Cassy said she would be there and I figured I might as well get some reading done.  As I walked down the corridors, I looked at all the paintings.  That's one thing I'll never get used to.  Growing up a muggle and seeing pictures just as pictures, and then getting thrown into a different world where the pictures are as real as life itself, is quite an odd thing.  It's like in the old horror movies when the eyes in the paintings follow you, in the wizarding world, they really do.  

I was half way to the library when I found this one painting that I never noticed before.  It was of an old man in a rocking chair sleeping, a book face down in his lap.  The little hair he had left on his head was black, so was his beard.  He actually looked a bit like James Potter.  The man had the same slightly long and narrow nose, but it was proportioned to his face.  He probably was fairly handsome in his younger years, as he was a good looking elderly man.  The more and more I stared, the more intrigued I was.  I don't know what it was about the painting, but I couldn't look away.  I put my bag down by the wall and walked closer to the picture.  Before I could even stop myself, I tapped on the old wooden frame of the portrait.  Immediately the old man woke and looked at me.  Now I knew the old man had to be related to Potter, those eyes could belong to no one else.  I was surprised when the man smiled suddenly.  I expected he would be upset for waking him from his afternoon nap.

"Hello, Miss...?"

I smiled politely, "Evans.  Lily Evans."

The old man smiled knowingly, "I thought that was it."

I felt my eyebrows knit, "Pardon?  You know who I am?"

"I know vaguely of most in this school, but you, I'm familiar with."

I must have made some kind of face, because the old man started to explain what he meant.  "After all, you are a prefect, one of the top students in your year, and my grandson is quite smitten by you.  He talks about you every time he comes to visit me."

I shook my head slightly and out of habit when thinking about Potter, I rolled my eyes, "Well that answers my question."  

The old mans eyes twinkled, "I wasn't aware that you asked one."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't ask anything."  I sounded foolish.  "I was just thinking about something."

"Too much thinking can get you into trouble you know."

I wanted to huff at the man, but he was an elderly old man after all.  Even though he's only a portrait, I have to keep my manners.  "That sounds like something your grandson would say."  

"Well, James does take a lot after me."  Almost as an after thought, Potter's grandfather added, in a slight undertone, but with humor, "Not sure that's a good thing though."

_That's for damn sure._  I shrugged my shoulders and smiled.  "Well it's been nice talking to you Mr. Potter, but I'm headed to the library.  I really should be off."

"The same to you Miss. Evans, it's been a pleasure."

I nodded my head and picked up my bag, "Sorry for disturbing your nap."  

The man smiled, "No need to be sorry.  It's always a pleasure to have a pretty young lady talk to me.  Especially one as sweet as the flower they're named for."

I bit my tongue and smiled.  _Damn my mother and her flowers!_  I started to walk away, but turned back.  "Oh, can you not tell Pot, I mean, James that we spoke."

Mr. Potter tilted his head slightly when he spoke, "As you wish."

"Thank you.  And sorry again for disturbing you."

"There's no need for that Flower."

"Right."  With that I continued towards the library.  _Is the whole family like that!  Lily!  My name is Lily!  So what if it's a goddamn flower too!_

I wasn't paying much attention to where I was going.  I just let my feet carry me. _CRASH!  Unfortunately they weren't doing a very good job.  I smashed right into somebody.  Sure enough that somebody had to be James Potter!_

"What are you doing up here!?"  I asked him coolly.  _It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon, shouldn't he be outside hexing people or something.  _

He looked slightly taken aback for only a moment.  "Am I not allowed to go to the library?"

I glared at him.  "Of course you're allowed to go to the library.  I just didn't see you go past me."

Potter glared back at me and his voice icy, "That's because I didn't."

Now it was my turn to be taken aback.  Potter never glared at me, no matter how cruel of words I said to him.  And his voice was always deep and flirtatious when he spoke to me.  But just then he looked like he hated me.  That thought actually scared me a little.  "I'm sorry."  I wasn't sure why I said sorry, but it seemed like the only words I could say.  And my voice was timid, something it never was when I spoke to him.

His features lightened slightly and he stuck his hand inside his robe.  At first I thought he was going to pull out his wand, but instead he took out some parchment that was folded in half.  He extended his hand out to me.  "Here.  These are for you." He said plainly, his voice flat and his eyes blank.  I took the papers from him and gave him a questioning look.  "They're my notes for our potions project."

"I thought you didn't take any?" I asked confusedly.

He shrugged his shoulders and ruffled his hair.  "Yeah, well, I stayed and took them down."

I nodded slowly, "Oh."

After that, we just stood there for a minute, in silence.  Finally he spoke, breaking the awkward silence, "Well, I'm going to go."

"Right.  Okay."  

He stood there for another moment just looking at me.  Then he shook his head, as if to clear his thoughts, and then brushed by me.  I stood there watching his retreating back.  He was a quarter's way down the hall when I found my voice again although I was playing with my bracelet nervously.   "James, wait!"  

He stopped and turned around with his lopsided grin on his face.  _Forget about him hating me.  "That's twice in only a couple days."  _

My left eyebrow went up in confusion, "What?"

"You just called me James.  You called me James the other night in the library too.  Granted you were telling me to get over myself, but you called me James nevertheless."

I was going to say something, but I stopped and thought about it.  I did call him James in the library.  I shrugged my shoulders carelessly, "So I did.  So what?"

He started walking back towards me as he talked.  "Oh I don't know.  Maybe you don't hate me as much as you say you do."  I shrugged my shoulders again and he stopped walking, only a few inches away from me.  Then he added suggestively, "Perhaps you don't even hate me at all."

I took a step back, "I wouldn't go that far.  But I was going to tell you, that you're not that bad of a nightmare, and I'm sorry."  James just stood there, not saying anything.  "Well, thanks, for the notes.  I appreciate it."  With that I turned and started for the library again.  I felt James eyes on me until I rounded the corner.

***

I hate Monday mornings.  The weekend is over and I have a Potions lesson first.  Not that Potions is a bad class, I love it, but it's not good for me first thing on a Monday morning.  Cassy woke me up and gave me the usual "Even DD gets up" speech.  And of course I couldn't find my tie.  The day was not starting out well, nor will it end well I'm sure.  I have a Perfect meeting tonight.  That's another thing I could do without on a Monday.  Sometimes I hate being a prefect.  I would love to be able to skip a class every now and then, or just be able to relax in the common room without having to reprimand someone for something or other; but those things don't come with the title.  Instead I have to give up three nights a week, and be a constant role model.  I do however get some perks.  I have a slightly later curfew, I have some control over other students, I get respect from nearly everyone, and I'm among the first students to know about things whether it's about a Hogsmeade trip, a dance, or whatever it might be.  It's funny though.  I'm a prefect, and it has it's good and it's bad, but James Potter isn't one, yet he has this control over the student population that some of the professors don't even have.  He stays out later then curfew, he breaks the rules, and he gets respect from nearly everyone.  Potter and his crew of cronies have the fun, pay no respect for rules during or after classes, and are loved by everyone including the teachers.  Remus Lupin is a prefect and acts like that, why can't I?

"Hello?  Lily?"  Danielle waved her hand in front of my face and woke me from my reverie.  "Were you listening to anything I was saying?"

"Yeah, umm, something about that Ravenclaw boy."  At least that was what she was talking about earlier.

"His name is Parker!  How many times do I have to tell you that?"  I rolled my eyes; Danielle always has to make something out of nothing of importance.  "And I wasn't talking about him.  I was talking about James."

I shrugged my shoulders, "Oh, so I wasn't missing much."

Danielle's eyes danced with mischief and she smiled, "I beg to differ.  I find it quite interesting, and I think you would too."

My eyebrow went up and curiosity was getting the better of me.  I did my best to keep my interest out of my voice, "Why would I find anything about Potter interesting?"

Victoria and Cassy started to laugh about something Victoria whispered to Cassy, and Danielle's smile turned smug, "Because it has something to do with you."

I know I had to look taken aback because I definitely wasn't expecting that.  Once I regained my composure and my senses came back, I spoke, "What did he start now?"

"Oh James didn't start anything."  

My face twisted into confusion.  Its one thing for James Potter to start a rumor about me and him, but someone else, I'll kill them with my bare hands, forget my wand.  "Who start what then," I nearly growled.

Danielle had a look of satisfaction on her face.  Some friend she is, getting joy when I'm ready to explode.  "I never thought about it, but Portraits love to gossip to one another."  Just then realization hit me.  "I think I found new sources for gossip.  You know, the portraits hear everything that goes on in the halls, and pictures never lie."

"I don't know what you're talking about DD," I lied, "I think you've finally fell of your rocker though."  I hadn't even noticed that we arrived down in the dungeons until Peter Pettigrew bumped into me.  James and I made eye contact for a moment, but looked away and felt a small blush creep to my face.  

Danielle gave a soft laugh, "We'll finish our conversation after class."  With that she went into Professor Greenwich's class, as did Victoria.  Cassy still stood next to me.

"Lils, you know it's okay to tell me anything right?"

I looked at her incredulously, "Of course!  You're my best mate aren't you?"

"Well, I was just checking, because you haven't talked to me about _anything_ lately."

I stood there staring at her and then she shook her head and walked into the classroom.  I followed suit, and sat in my seat next to James, not saying a word.  I felt a few pairs of eyes on me as I got out my books, but I didn't turn to look at any of them.

Professor Greenwich instructed us to take notes out of our textbooks for the effective uses of each ingredient in the Dark Dream Draft Potion.  I started right away, but I noticed many other people just sitting there.  James was one of them.  All he was doing was doodling on his parchment.  Every now and then however he would look over at me.  The first couple of times I just ignored him.  But by the sixth time, I was getting annoyed.  I didn't know what exactly what the portraits were spreading, and knowing the way James is, my head was spinning.  I just wanted to do my work, and not have to deal with anything at the moment.  I stopped writing and James looked away from me.  I started with my notes again.  

A few minutes later James started to look at me again.  However, this time he spoke, barely even a whisper.  "Lily, can I talk to you?"

I put my quill down and looked at him, aggravated.  "_What_?"

"I want you to know that I didn't start any of these rumors."

"I don't-"

"Mr. Potter, where is your text book.  I don't see you taking notes!  I want to see them at the end of class or you get a detention!"

James reached down into his bag and took out his textbook.  He opened his book and started writing.  I assumed he started taking notes, but a moment later he slid a piece of folded parchment over to me.

I unfolded it and read its contents.

            **_You don't have to believe me, but I swear I didn't start them.  When I find out _**

**_            who did, I'll hex them into oblivion.  There are enough rumors about me out there, I don't need anymore.  Especially ones like these.  _**

I believe that he didn't start the rumors, Danielle told me so, I just didn't know what the rumors are.  I dipped my quill in my ink bottle, and replied back to him.

            _Danielle told me you didn't start them.  The only thing is, I don't know what the hell the rumors are!  What is going on?_

I didn't bother to fold the note; he was sitting right next to me after all.

            **_Apparently we have a more then friendly relationship and we're keeping it quite.  Someone was in the library Friday night and claimed to see us together getting friendly.  I'm assuming they saw you flirting with me mercifully.  To top it all off, they told a portrait that we were snogging and then yesterday afternoon, that same portrait saw us together in the corridor to the library.  Because of us, the library is going to be the next astronomy tower._**

****

_            First off, I was not flirting with you Friday night!  I just wanted to know what you were writing for an hour!  Secondly, we were only talking yesterday!_

_            **I know we were only talking!  Merlin knows I wish weren't just talking, but I know that's all we were doing!  This is why I don't need rumors like this going around!  You actually take heart to what people say, and you're finally starting to talk to me as if I'm not scum on the bottom of your shoes.  I don't need other people to ruin it for me, I'm sure I'm more then capable of doing it all on my own in time!******_

I gave a soft laugh and he looked at me.

            _I've never thought of you as the scum on the bottom of my shoes.  I'm pretty sure I don't have any scum on my shoes at all, some dirt of course, but not scum.  I didn't realize that I was talking to you any different that what I always have though._

_            **You're TALKING to me, not yelling for a start.  And you can call it what ever you want, but you were flirting with me in the library.  You only said I was a nightmare because you don't how you really feel.     **_

_What I said in the library about you being a nightmare, I meant every word.   I also meant what I said yesterday, you aren't that bad, not any more anyway.   I don't hate you, I never have; it's not in my nature to hate people, with the exception of a few Slytherins that is.  But that still doesn't mean that I like you, nor does it mean that I don't know how I feel.  I know exactly how I feel, especially about you.  I know I don't like you. I know I don't like the way you act.   I know I don't like most of the things you do.  I do know though, that I'm used to the way you are, and now, I know I don't have to yell at you for you to listen to what I have to say.  I also know that you're changing, that's probably the biggest reason I'm talking to you right now.  We need to straighten out these rumors.  I don't need them to tarnish my good name.  _

The bell rang to show the end of class.  Professor Greenwich called James up to her desk for him to show her his notes.  I knew he didn't take any, so when I passed him the note back, I also passed him the notes I took during class.  With out saying a word I put my book in my bag and headed out the door to my next lesson not waiting for Cassy, Victoria, or Danielle.

**A/N…**  sorry again for taking so long.  I still don't really like the chapter, but I don't know how else to get to what I want to get to.  I don't know how long it'll take for the next chapter to get up.  I still have a few days of vacation left, so hopefully before I have to go back to school it'll be up.  Review and tell me what you thing as always.


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